Joachim Tan's Testimony

(written by Joachim Tan, pictured in the middle)

Being a part of the FIDES community has truly allowed me to see a faith that is truly alive and relevant. Born into a Catholic family, I have always held my faith to be a crucial part of my identity, yet I always wanted to somehow deepen my relationship with God.

Before entering university, I was always chasing this 'ownership' of my faith that I felt was real – to be able to understand who God is, how He works, to see what He has in store for me in the future. My time in FIDES has allowed me to meet and journey with many fellow Catholic brothers and sisters in this phase of my faith journey. Our common faith and desire for Christ made me comfortable with where I was and I felt that that was good enough for me.

Going into the School of Christian Leadership, a 10-day long retreat organised by the Office for Young People, I was surprised at what else God had to offer, despite being quite skeptical initially. I remember hearing and reflecting on the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) where I identified with the elder son, jealous and bitter of how God seemed to unfairly reward and favour others over me. I could not understand how or why anyone would act like the father in the parable.

Through one of the sessions, it was revealed to me that I had been wrestling with God for control over my life and that I had become increasingly impatient with God’s timing. When God did not answer my prayers in the way I had hoped for, I became disheartened. It shocked me when I realized that in my fervent pursuit of God, I had unknowingly confined Him to my narrow mindset and stubborn way of thinking. I wanted things to be done my way and had shut the door on God without knowing it. After much prayer, I have finally understood what it means to have a God who loves us beyond understanding, to have a Father ever ready to watch over and to welcome me back when I stray. I have learned to let God have authority over my life and to not grasp so desperately for control. Putting Him in the centre of my life does not mean that I forsake everything or not try my best, but to strive for excellence in what I do while knowing that God will direct the results.

Living an authentic Christian life is not an easy one and I still struggle a lot with this, but being in FIDES has placed me in the company of many faithful and genuine friends who always point me toward Christ and keep me in check whenever I falter, no matter how difficult it is to do so.

Today, I can confidently proclaim the truth that living a Christian life does not mean we will be shortchanged or deprived of anything, but allows us to enjoy the fullness of life. As I enter into my last year of university, I know that there are many uncertainties and challenges in the next phase of my life, but I offer all my worries up to God, for He alone knows what is best for me. God never fails to surprise us if we allow Him to, and I pray that you too will allow God to constantly surprise you with much more than you dare to pray for!

'Do not be afraid. Do not be satisfied with mediocrity. Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' – St John Paul II