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(written by Nicole Lim, pictured on the right)
Before coming to know God, I was in a state of ignorant discontent. It was very difficult to see that I was unhappy with the way things were because I was very used to living a secular, self-serving life and to me, that was all there was to it. I was constantly chasing after things that would make me feel more, give me more, while feeling like I was so content – of course I would have been because I moved on to the next once one ceased fulfilling me.
I would say I have always known that God existed. I have always known about Him and His teachings. I only truly got to know who God was when I attended the School of Witness (SOW) 2019, an 8-week long discipleship school held by the Office for Young People. During SOW, I battled so much with my pride and inertia against letting God, who was essentially a familiar stranger, into my life. From my ‘elevated’ seat of control, I was adamant that I would not become like these crazy maniacs who were so in love with someone they could not see nor hear. I think deep down I felt resentful that these people could experience so much joy, while I, who had everything I thought would bring me joy, could not. After a while, I just felt really tired fighting for my secular lifestyle that did not seem to amount to much comparatively, and so I decided to give this thing called a ‘relationship with God’ a shot. Knowing about someone and knowing who a person is are two very different states of knowledge, and these two different states of knowing naturally translated into two very different impacts in my life. As I slowly became willing to be willing to know God, God entered into my life and permeated every aspect of it.
I came to know, personally and intimately, that God is love. That God saves, unfailingly and unceasingly. That joy in and of the Lord could be a source of strength in my life. And it is! That God wishes to know us intimately and personally as we are willing to let Him. And by this process, He defines us and rejoices in us in the singular truths that He has declared over us.
Trust me, I never would have believed, even a year ago, that these words would come out from me, and confidently at that. I honestly did not understand 90% of what this meant, because my knowing of God consisted primarily of people telling me and me processing that information like I would a textbook for the exam of life. Getting to know God set me free from the chains that held me back from living fullness of life, and the lies and deaths that shadowed and poisoned my vision. Life will rarely be easy, but God has this crazy ability to write straight on your crooked lines no matter how many times you have made them crooked and how crooked they are. The God who has crafted and curated every intricacy of the universe has included you in His great plan of salvation. My friends, take heart for you are closer to the kingdom of heaven than you think! Do not give up in your pursuit for this greatness who will fill your heart completely and perfectly, and if you have not started? Give new things a chance!